


5 Things That Didn't Happen That Night

by Stariceling



Category: Tantei Gakuen Q | Detective Academy Q
Genre: 5 Things, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-20
Updated: 2006-12-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 13:36:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stariceling/pseuds/Stariceling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five different things that might have happened to Kyu and Ryu after the events of episode 39, but probably didn't... Ranging from friendly conversation to light angst/comfort to cuddling and kissing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kyu did not interrogate Ryu about awkward subjects

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the Hell's Maestro arc, takes place at the end of episode 39 after Kyu takes Ryu home.
> 
> This fic is mostly based off of the extra clip at the end of episode 39. Some are non-canon by ep 40, and all are according to the manga but oh well.

“Hey, Ryu, if it wasn’t your mom who picked you up before, was it your big sister?” Kyu had propped himself up on one elbow so that he could look over the edge of the bed at Ryu. “Did you not want anyone to flirt with her, or something?” They had talked since dinner, mostly about trivial things, until Ryu thought they would both have to run out of words. Somehow Kyu kept thinking of new things to say, sometimes rather startling things. Case in point.

“She wasn’t my sister. We’re not related.” Ryu didn’t really want to talk about that. He had promised that he would tell Kyu everything in time, and he had mostly meant it. He would tell Kyu if he ever needed to know, or if he ended up finding out part of it, because at that point he would ‘need to know’ if only to keep his curiosity from driving both of them crazy.

If he was being honest with himself, Ryu knew he didn’t want to tell Kyu anything until Kyu truly needed to know. He hated the thought that Kyu, who had stubbornly defended him, might never trust him again. He just wasn’t ready to let go of Kyu’s friendship.

Worse was the thought that Kyu could be put in danger for knowing too much. He was in enough danger simply for being too clever. Ryu didn’t think anyone would try to ‘silence’ Kyu before he could spread the truth, especially if Ryu ended up being conveniently expelled from DDS and forced to return home, but he wasn’t in any hurry to risk that, either.

Ryu still didn’t want to tell Kyu too much, but at the same time he didn’t want to lie to Kyu outright. “I wasn’t living with my family,” Ryu explained softly. They could claim that Pluto was part of his blood all they liked, but he refused to call the operatives that kept tabs on him his family.

Kyu was leaning over the edge of the bed now, eyes wide with shock and awe. “Was she your girlfriend? Did you have a fight?”

“What?” Ryu pushed himself up onto his elbows, staring at Kyu in disbelief. “No.”

“She’s not your girlfriend?” Kyu sounded oddly hopeful as he asked this.

Ryu was torn between laughter and shouting, ‘oh God no,’ up at Kyu. He settled for gasping out, “No, no, never,” around a sound that might have been a laugh if he hadn’t choked on it.

Kyu gave him such a puzzled look that Ryu swallowed the urge to laugh. “I don’t have a girlfriend,” he had to explain to Kyu. He didn’t want one either. It would be too much trouble, on too many levels.

“Didn’t you think she was a beautiful person?” For some reason Kyu just would not let this go.

“Not really, no.” Ryu hoped that Kyu wasn’t thinking about her as just another harmless, pretty girl. “She had a really bad personality,” he told Kyu quickly, “and she’s a lot older than she looks.” ‘And she’s much too evil for you,’ he wanted to tell Kyu, but he didn’t think he could without explaining just how evil.

Kyu was studying him thoughtfully. Ryu hoped that Kyu didn’t just think he was in denial about her being his ex-girlfriend. “Is that why you wouldn’t hang around long enough to introduce her?”

“That’s right.” That, and he knew she would have taken the introduction the wrong way, even if it might have made his classmates less suspicious.

Kyu had his elbows digging into the mattress to keep himself from sliding off onto Ryu’s futon. Ryu kept a close eye on his balance. He did not want to be a landing pad right now.

“What’s your type, then?” Kyu finally asked.

“Huh?” Ryu had been working out exactly how much distance he would have to put between himself and the side of the bed to keep Kyu from landing on him if he slid off. He hadn’t been expecting further interrogation.

“What type of girl do you like?” Kyu persisted. Ryu didn’t know what had brought this on, except maybe that he had just explained that he wasn’t into older women with bad attitudes.

“I don’t really like. . .” Ryu stopped and had to rephrase that, “I mean, there isn’t a specific type that I like.”

Kyu seemed to consider this answer, while Ryu wished that he would leave the subject alone, or at least stop watching him over the side of the bed.

Finally Kyu said, “I thought you might have a really specific type, since you never even try to flirt with girls when you’re out with us. Even the ones that are already interested in you. Or at least it doesn’t seem like you’re flirting on purpose,” he corrected himself.

“I don’t flirt!” Ryu spluttered. He didn’t, he couldn’t, see where Kyu had gotten that idea.

Kyu tilted his head, looking at Ryu thoughtfully. “Your face is all red.”

Ryu could feel heat rising in his cheeks, and he was sure that his face was much redder than it had been before Kyu had pointed it out. “That’s because you’re bringing up unnecessary things.” It was embarrassing not knowing what to say. He hadn’t really thought about talking about something like this casually, even with Kyu. Especially with Kyu.

“Sorry.” Kyu did not look particularly sorry. “It’s just funny. It drives Kinta crazy sometimes. He thought you were never interested because you already had a girlfriend, and you never hung out with us because you had to rush off and see her. He followed you home once, trying to prove it.”

“So that’s what that was about,” Ryu said, before he could stop himself. He remembered leading the two of them on a long, fruitless chase one afternoon. It had actually been rather fun listening to them following, especially when they accidentally knocked over a display of handbags outside a nearby shop by trying to both duck behind it at once. He had stopped and pretended to read the headlines at a newsstand around the corner, to give them a sporting chance while they rushed to pick everything up.

Waiting had probably been a bad idea, since after that he found it impossible to shake them. He finally had to choose a spot on a park bench and pretend to read one of his schoolbooks for over an hour before they got bored and left him alone. They had both tried to be extra nice to him the next day, so he had assumed they felt guilty. He hadn’t had the heart to tell them that they were not at all sneaky after that.

Kyu looked extremely embarrassed now. He reached up to rub the back of his neck, blushing. “You knew we were there?”

“Yes.” It was interesting to Ryu how Kyu had admitted that he was there only after he realized that Ryu already knew. If it drove Kinta crazy, how did Kyu feel about it? Ryu quickly dismissed that question as irrelevant. Probably he had just gone along to practice.

“You didn’t get stood up, right? I said you would have mentioned it if you had a girlfriend, but then. . .” He dropped his hand to steady himself on the edge of the bed again. “I guess you didn’t even tell us you weren’t living with your family.”

“I couldn’t tell you,” Ryu explained. “I was only staying there so that I could go to DDS.” Both of those statements were perfectly true, though Ryu knew he was leaving out a lot of details that Kyu really would have wanted to know. Like exactly who he had been living with. “Besides,” he added, “I didn’t want you to think badly of me because of it.”

“I wouldn’t think badly of you.” Kyu looked oddly hurt, as if he couldn’t believe Ryu didn’t just expect his friendship was guaranteed. “I just thought, I mean. . . if you did have a girlfriend you forgot to tell us about, I wouldn’t be that surprised. Because you have a nice face, and you try to be nice, and, well, most of the time you are. . . plus it seems that you’re really popular, so. . .” by the time he trailed off with a shrug he looked about as embarrassed as Ryu felt.

“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.” Ryu lay back down on his futon so that he could look up at the ceiling instead of at Kyu.

“But I really don’t think badly of you,” Kyu insisted. “We’re friends!”

“I know.” Ryu ended up turning his eyes back toward Kyu anyway. He willed himself not to blush, looking up at Kyu. Kyu, who’s opinion mattered more than it should somehow. “But it seems like you always comment on what other people think of me.” It actually seemed that Kyu only liked to comment on what girls thought of him, which was extremely embarrassing. Besides, Ryu didn’t think that Kyu knew that any better than he himself did.

Ryu waited a few seconds to be sure that Kyu wouldn’t explain on his own and save him the trouble, and to gather his courage, before asking, “What do you think of me?”

“I think you’re fun to be around. You’re a good person, Ryu.” Kyu sort of smiled as he said it, as if he was glad Ryu had given him the excuse to say it, “I’m glad we’re friends, because I really like you.”

“I’m glad too.” Ryu did want to be friends with Kyu, and it was deceptively easy being around him, liking him. He wondered if there might be something he was missing that would trip him up later. “But, somehow it seems like we don’t know each other outside of school, right?”

Kyu looked rather startled, and Ryu immediately wished he hadn’t said anything. One evening talking with Kyu was apparently all it took to make him blurt out things as soon as he thought them. He would have to be more careful.

“We’re not at school now,” Kyu pointed out. “Besides, isn’t that easy to fix?” He rolled his shoulders into a more comfortable position, as if settling in, before asking, “What do you want to know?”

Everything. That probably wasn’t fair, at least until the time came when he had to, or was free to, tell Kyu everything he was holding back. He had only meant to spend time with Kyu and learn what he liked and disliked beyond being a detective.

Right now, the only thing Ryu could think of to say was, “What’s your type?”

If Kyu had looked startled before, it was nothing compared to the expression on his face now. He stared at Ryu for a moment, as if waiting to be told it was a joke, then rolled over and out of sight with a quick, “Goodnight.”

“You asked me first,” Ryu pointed out. He never would have thought about asking something like that otherwise. At least Kyu had time to actually think about the subject before being questioned.

“I don’t know,” Kyu said. His voice was a bit muffled, so that it sounded like he was hiding under his blankets or his pillow. “I guess it’s just nice sometimes, if there’s someone who you’d like to stop and get to know because they seem like a good person. And, I mean, someone who has a nice face, it’s okay to just appreciate that, right?” Apparently Kyu hadn’t been thinking in terms of ‘type’ either, which made Ryu feel a little better.

After a moment of thought, Ryu touched his own face, which Kyu had commented on several times now. “You mean a pretty girl?” he asked.

“Of course. What else would I be talking about?”

Ryu walked his fingers over his own face, chin, lips, nose, and cheeks. He knew his own face, but it was hard to think of it as being attractive or not, because it was his. He had never thought about himself as having feminine looks, but. . . Kyu did seem to just appreciate pretty girls in general, and had commented on Ryu having a nice face as well.

“What about me?”

“What!?” Kyu flailed his way into a sitting position, sending his pillow flying to the foot of the bed as he sat up.

“It seems like you look at my face, the same way you would look at a girl.” Ryu didn’t know how else to explain what it felt like when Kyu commented on him like that. It did seem that once in a while Kyu just stopped and studied him, but Ryu had always thought before that Kyu was just trying to figure out what he was thinking.

“No way! Looking at your face is completely different from looking at a pretty girl!” Kyu was leaning on the edge of the bed again, but he kept moving around as if he couldn’t decide if he wanted to look directly at Ryu or not, until Ryu began to think that he was going to slide right off of the bed after all. “Um. . . I mean. . . there are different reasons for liking your face.”

“Now you’re blushing,” Ryu pointed out. This was a far more interesting reaction than he had expected from Kyu.

“I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable or anything.” Kyu seemed to be fumbling for words, so Ryu interrupted him before he could start stumbling over embarrassed apologies.

“I’m not uncomfortable. I just wanted to know. I don’t mind if you think I have a feminine face.”

Kyu looked at him for a long moment, slowly calming back down. “It’s not feminine. I mean, not really. It’s just, you usually have a calm expression.” Kyu rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “It’s hard to explain. I thought it was a little strange at first, you managing to be so calm, but it’s kind of nice. It makes me sort of happy just seeing you, knowing how hard you’re actually thinking. And sometimes I get the feeling like you’re pointing out hints for the rest of us, but somehow it’s not something that an outsider would pick up on.”

Ryu found himself smiling at Kyu, probably ruining the expression that Kyu liked, but he couldn’t help it. “I like seeing you more, then, because you usually look so cheerful.” It was true, too. Kyu’s joy could be extremely contagious. He couldn’t say it, but as long as Kyu’s exuberant, friendly smile was turned on everyone, he wouldn’t feel bad soaking up some of it.

Kyu smiled, looking all at once less nervous and more like his normal self. “You know I can like you without thinking you look like a girl,” he said quickly.

“I know.” They were friends, so it shouldn’t influence Kyu that much either way if he had feminine looks, right? He had just wanted to know.

“But I really do like you, Ryu,” Kyu added quickly. He didn’t seem to have even heard Ryu’s answer.

“I know.” Kyu had told him so several times already. He was starting to wonder why Kyu wanted to make that so plain all of a sudden, when Ryu had already accepted that they were friends. “I do too.”

“You. . . know?”

“I think so.” Ryu hoped it was more than enough that they really did like each other, because he thought he was missing something here. As long as he could spend time with Kyu as friends, it should be fine, right?

“Um. . . Ryu?” Kyu looked down at his hands nervously. “Do you also. . . ?”

Ryu studied Kyu’s blushing face for a long moment, then smiled and rolled over. He thought he might have just figured out what Kyu was getting at. “Goodnight, Kyu.”

“That’s not fair!” Kyu burst out after a few seconds of shocked silence.

Ryu smiled into his pillow. He half expected Kyu to pester him until he got an answer. Instead, Kyu was silent for several minutes, probably waiting for Ryu to stop playing around and answer. Then he heard Kyu let out a long sigh, then settle down with a whisper of, “Goodnight.”


	2. Ryu did not plan any of this

Their conversation had trailed off a little while ago, leaving Ryu feeling oddly content with the companionable silence. Kyu had slumped a little to one side, his head resting heavily on Ryu’s shoulder. Ryu was staying perfectly still and silent to keep from disturbing him.

It was peaceful sitting there with Kyu. Ryu hadn’t planned to end up like this, but he decided he was glad he had asked to stay with Kyu instead of trying to find a hotel. He had told Kyu he would find somewhere else to stay if it was troublesome, but he honestly didn’t know what he would have done if Kyu hadn’t found him.

Considering that, he was perfectly glad to have Kyu cuddled against him. Besides, he found himself feeling oddly peaceful with Kyu’s warm, relaxed body tucked up against his side.

“You’re kind of comfortable.” Kyu darted a quick peek up at Ryu, presumably to check and see if he could get away with continuing to use Ryu as a pillow. When Ryu didn’t protest at all, he smiled and shifted a little closer, making himself even more comfortable against Ryu.

He hadn’t planned to end up here. It seemed to him that he had asked Kyu if he could stay with him even before the idea had fully formed in his mind. Spending more time with Kyu, with his classmates, was something he knew was a risk. At the same time, he had a lot of lost time that he wanted to make up for. He wanted to feel free for a little while, and to be comfortable in the company he was keeping. To be with companions that he had chosen for himself.

Ryu was perfectly content as he was, at least until Kyu asked, “Why did you leave the hospital?”

Ryu lifted his face and stared at the far wall so that he wouldn’t have to catch Kyu looking up at him. “I’m fine now. I didn’t want to be laid up anymore.” He needed to be somewhere away from Anubis. Staying in the hospital obviously wasn’t good enough. He wanted to at least attempt to find a place out of Pluto’s reach. He couldn’t be sure it wasn’t possible until he tried.

“You mean you ran off just so that you wouldn’t miss class?” Kyu reached up and touched Ryu’s chin, as if asking Ryu to look at him. “I can sort of understand that.” Ryu smiled in spite of himself. Kyu didn’t really sound like he was convinced, but he couldn’t see Kyu putting up with staying still and helpless for long, either.

“But you know we wouldn’t have ever left you behind. I promised to come every day after class, right? I wouldn’t have forgotten to come see you.”

“Thank you.” Ryu didn’t doubt for a second that Kyu would have kept him up to date on everything at DDS. In fact, he had been looking forward to when his classmates would be back. It was the other visitors that he wanted to avoid.

“You know that, right?”

“Yes.” That was what friends were for, right? That, and probably plenty of other things that Ryu didn’t even know yet. Kyu had made it clear that ‘friends’ meant supporting Ryu, sticking up for him, or just being with him. Ryu braced one arm on the other side of Kyu, so that he could feel Kyu’s back resting on the inside of his arm. He wasn’t going quite so far as to hug him, not now while he was feeling so peaceful.

“Then what happened?” Kyu asked, rubbing his cheek against Ryu’s shoulder.

Ryu stayed silent. He didn’t know how to answer. If there was a way to explain the truth without making himself look guilty, he hadn’t found it yet.

“I had a bad feeling,” Kyu said slowly, when he realized that Ryu wasn’t going to enlighten him. He lifted his head from Ryu’s shoulder, and even though he was still leaning lazily against him it was obvious to Ryu that Kyu was now perfectly alert. “I didn’t really dwell on it, because I thought you had to be safe there. Should I have stayed with you?”

“No. It wouldn’t have really made a difference.” It might have delayed the inevitable a bit, but that was all. If that conversation had taken place while Kyu was there. . . Ryu knew he would have bolted even with Kyu’s presence to steady him. If Kyu had heard that, they would be having a very different conversation right now, one that Ryu was not ready for.

Kyu reached around in front of Ryu and grabbed his shoulder, turning him so that he was staring steadily into Kyu’s face. “Ryu, what happened?” he asked seriously, “Did one of the nurses try to seduce you?”

“What?” Ryu waited a second for Kyu to tell him that he was joking, then ended up laughing a little anyway when Kyu just stared at him seriously. The tension between them was quickly broken.

“No,” Ryu managed to answer, “Where did you get that idea?”

“It’s possible.” Kyu looked a little sheepish from Ryu’s reaction. “Then did one of the other visitors-”

“No!” Ryu refused to think about his other visitors now. “No one seduced me. I don’t even know where you got that idea, it’s not realistic.”

“You’re sure about that?” Kyu was grinning again.

Ryu couldn’t tell if Kyu was teasing him or not. “Are you offering to protect me?” Not that Ryu thought anyone was out to seduce him, or that Kyu would make an effective shield. Looking at him, Ryu thought that would probably end with him having to ‘rescue’ Kyu instead.

“Sure.” Kyu was smiling at him again, and Ryu couldn’t tell if it was because he thought it was all a joke, or because Ryu had somehow agreed with him. “Because I like you.”

“I like you too.” Ryu felt oddly embarrassed saying it like that. Wasn’t that a bit different than saying, ‘Because we’re friends’?

After a moment Kyu amended, “I mean, I’ll stop it if you don’t want to be seduced. If you want, I. . .”

“I understand.” Kyu really didn’t have to keep going on about it. “It’s fine.”

“Really?”

This wasn’t a very comfortable subject for Ryu with Kyu snuggled up against his side. It made him keep getting sidetracked, until he wasn’t exactly sure what Kyu was talking about. Protecting him. . . or seducing him. . . He didn’t want to talk about either right now.

“How did you find me, anyway?” Ryu asked, changing the subject to a sightly less awkward one. He sort of wanted to know how Kyu had done it. He thought he must have somehow left a trail behind for Kyu to follow, because Kyu had found him so quickly. (When he had phoned the others to tell them he had Ryu and was taking him home, Ryu had been able to hear Kinta shouting ‘What, already?’ even with the phone against Kyu’s ear.)

“I don’t know.” Kyu let go of Ryu’s shoulder and rubbed the back of his head, grinning. “I thought you might not want to be found, since you didn’t try to tell any of us or leave a message, so you probably wouldn’t be somewhere we’d been together before. That really left a lot of ground to cover.”

Ryu smiled at that. He hadn’t noticed until Kyu brought it up, but he had been avoiding familiar places, thinking vaguely that people would expect him to go to ground in a place he was familiar with, and that he might be caught faster if he did. As Kyu said, that did leave a lot of Tokyo for him to hide in.

“But why there?” There must have been something that helped Kyu locate him.

“It just seemed like the right way to go. Just a feeling.” Kyu shrugged.

Just a feeling. Ryu didn’t exactly believe that Kyu could have such accurate ‘feelings’ concerning him. Maybe he had left some clue behind that Kyu had picked up on subconsciously. Had Kyu taken the same route he had? Ryu couldn’t even remember now. He had simply ended up there, staring down at the tracks, trying to think but mostly just feeling sick inside.

“What were you doing there anyway?” Kyu wanted to know. “Why didn’t you let us know you were okay?”

“I wasn’t thinking that you would be so worried.”

“Of course we were worried!” Ryu tried not to wince when Kyu shouted at him. Sometimes he forgot that Kyu had a temper to lose, and he hadn’t meant to upset him. He must have made some sign because Kyu’s voice softened. “You were hurt, and you just disappeared on us.”

“I wasn’t thinking,” Ryu repeated. Or at least, he hadn’t been thinking of Kyu and the others, and how panicked they would be. He hadn’t been thinking anything he could explain to Kyu either. He had been too busy sinking in the growing feeling that maybe he should kill himself before he lost the will to do anything. He had wanted some sign that he could fight the fate that he kept hearing was in his blood. At that point he was just barely holding out for some hidden reserve of strength that might be lurking inside himself.

Somehow he had gotten Kyu instead. Ryu wasn’t sure that was how it was supposed to work.

Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing, Ryu thought, resting his cheek on the top of Kyu’s head. “Maybe I was waiting for you.” Ryu felt silly once he said it, but he couldn’t take it back now.

“You could have made yourself a little easier to find.” Kyu sounded hurt, as if he thought Ryu wasn’t taking his feelings seriously.

“I wasn’t exactly planning it,” Ryu tried to explain, to himself as much as to Kyu. “What I mean is: I’m glad you found me.”

Kyu’s hand crept into Ryu’s lap as Ryu lazily watched its progress. He wanted to wonder at the easy physical contact between them, but he couldn’t really get himself to mind. Kyu had a way of slipping into his personal space without making it seem like a threat. In fact, Ryu found having Kyu close to him reassuring. It was a sign that Kyu could still stand to be around him, even if he didn’t know who he really was yet.

“Would you have tried to find us eventually?” Kyu finally asked.

“Eventually.” Maybe once he calmed down and started thinking logically again. Where could he go other than DDS? It was the only thing he could do to fight, the only choice that would feel like his own.

Then again, going with Kyu had also been his own choice. If he could move away from his heritage and into his own future with small steps like that. . . It was probably too small a thing to matter in the long run, but it had made him feel more in control of his own life.

“Well, if you were planning on asking to stay here, you could have called first, so we at least knew you were okay.”

“I wasn’t exactly planning it.” Ryu put his free hand over the hand that Kyu had in his lap, stilling its progress. “I didn’t plan any of this.” How could he have? Lately, it seemed that everything just happened to him, without him having any say in his own fate.

“Any of what?”

He shouldn’t have expected Kyu to instinctively know what he meant, even though he often did. To Kyu it probably seemed perfectly natural and innocent that they were so close together. He wasn’t reading too far into it, the way Ryu was.

“This.” Ryu squeezed Kyu’s hand for emphasis.

“Ahh. I thought you meant this.” Kyu snuggled closer to him.

Ryu lifted his head so he could look down at Kyu’s face. He wasn’t surprised to see him smiling. “They’re the same thing,” he said, even knowing that Kyu already understood that, and that he was just teasing.

“I did plan it, though.”

Ryu had noticed Kyu getting closer and closer to him throughout the evening, but he hadn’t really thought anything of it. “Were you trying to seduce me?” Ryu asked playfully.

At least, he thought he was being playful. Kyu’s face went bright red and he started to fidget. Ryu thought Kyu would have been flailing, trying to make a point, but he had a firm hold on Kyu’s arms and he wasn’t letting go. “No!” Kyu burst out, “I mean, it’s not that you’re not-, but I didn’t mean to-, and I wasn’t going to-”

Ryu tried not to laugh. “What if it worked? What were you planning on then?”

“I don’t know!” Kyu managed to yank his hand, the hand Ryu was holding in his lap, free. Ryu lunged forward to reclaim the hand and managed to catch Kyu by the wrist. As he did, he ended up nose to nose with Kyu.

Kyu went still, but Ryu couldn’t get himself to let go or back off.

“Are you teasing me?”

“No.” Ryu almost wished he was, because it would mean he had something in mind, that his life was not spinning out of control any more than it already had. At least. . . maybe he still had some idea what he wanted here, if not in other areas of his life.

“I want to know what you were going to-” Ryu didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, because Kyu interrupted by kissing him. Ryu was perfectly distracted by the feeling of Kyu’s mouth, firm and clumsy, pressing against his.

For a few minutes afterward, he forgot how to speak. He just sat, watching Kyu squirm in silent embarrassment and feeling his lips tingle from the kiss.

It wasn’t until Kyu started trying to pull his hand away again that Ryu was able to put words together. “You were only planning on doing it once?”

“I guess. . .”

Ryu shifted closer, eliminating the space that Kyu had managed to put between them. “One more,” he suggested, and Kyu nodded tentatively in agreement.

Ryu tilted his head to kiss Kyu, and found Kyu moving to meet him. They pressed together, awkward and hopeful, until Ryu forgot to think or breathe.

Kyu mumbled something into his mouth, and they parted again. Ryu let go of Kyu’s wrist, only to grab his shoulder instead and pull him closer.

When Kyu made a happy noise in his throat instead of flailing and protesting, Ryu kissed him again. Because, of course, he had never planned on just one kiss.


	3. Kyu didn't really want to sleep with Ryu

Now that he thought about it, Ryu was sort of glad he hadn’t ended up sharing a bed with Kyu. Not that he had been terribly put off by the offer after Kyu was kind enough to bring him home, but he could hear Kyu thrashing around on the bed. He had known before that Kyu was a restless sleeper, but he seemed to have gotten exponentially worse since the last time they had shared a room.

Ryu didn’t mind the noise as much as he had last time, but he was still glad Kyu had gotten him the futon. He just didn’t want Kyu to try to wrestle him, or elbow his wounded shoulder, or anything else thanks to his restless sleeping patterns.

He kept listening as Kyu kept rolling over, first one way and then the other. He would stop to yank at his blankets or attack his pillow, then mumble something to himself. Sometimes he would be still for a few minutes, and Ryu would close his eyes and think about going to sleep, but Kyu would always start up again. It almost sounded as if he was looking for something.

Finally Kyu came to rest on his stomach with one arm dangling over the side of the bed in Ryu’s sight. He could just make out Kyu’s face, his cheek on the edge of the mattress.

Ryu chalked the restlessness up to being a simple, natural trait for Kyu. Even in his sleep he couldn’t be still. He was probably busy chasing answers even in his dreams. Or criminals, or possibly butterflies. Ryu had no real way of knowing.

It was hard enough getting to sleep in a strange house without letting Kyu distract him. Ryu rolled away onto his side so that he couldn’t see Kyu and tried not to think about him.

He couldn’t quite help himself. He was in Kyu’s home, in his room, lying under a comforter that Kyu had tucked around him. He had stubbornly waited for Ryu to lie down first just so that he could tuck him in before getting into bed himself.

Kyu was being so friendly to him, even more so than usual. He had introduced Ryu as his good friend from school, and pleaded his case to his mother. Somehow, Ryu had found himself accepted into their home almost immediately. He had never really expected to be welcomed like that. He hadn’t even expected Kyu to agree to let him stay over. Before the end of dinner Kyu’s mother was gently scolding both of them for Kyu not bringing his charming friend over sooner.

He had no idea if this was what home was supposed to feel like. He hadn’t really thought of the place he had lived as a home. Now he was right in the middle of one, and somehow it seemed he was welcome to stay, at least for the time being.

Ryu let out a long breath and closed his eyes, trying to close out his thoughts as well. This was a peaceful place. He should be able to sleep well here, yet he couldn’t get himself to relax.

Before he could even start to doze, Ryu had the peace knocked right out of him as Kyu started thrashing around again, rolling right off of the bed. He managed not to land completely on Ryu, just slammed into him hard as he landed on the futon with a loud ‘oof!’

Ryu gasped and automatically curled away from Kyu in pain. He wrapped his right arm around himself, as if that could ward off another blow. For a moment he couldn’t see past the haze of sleepy darkness and unexpected pain. He could hear Kyu pushing himself up, muttering, “Ow, ow, ow,” presumably at hitting the floor.

After a moment Kyu seemed to process exactly what he had landed on, because he gabbed Ryu and turned him onto his back, forcing him to uncurl.

“Ryu, I’m so sorry.” His hands caught Ryu’s wrists and gently pried his arm away so that Ryu made a sound of protest in his throat. He was already hurt. He did not want to be left vulnerable, with his wound exposed to Kyu. He didn’t care how sorry Kyu was for landing on him.

Kyu froze at the noise and asked in a guilty whisper, “Did I hurt you?”

Ryu nodded, though he didn’t think Kyu could see him at all in the dark. How could he not have been hurt by that? Kyu went on touching him, fussing over him, which was really no indication one way or the other.

“I didn’t re-open your wound, did I?” Kyu’s hands kept getting in Ryu’s way as he tried to push him away. He had moved to kneel over Ryu’s legs, Ryu could feel his knees hemming him in, and it didn’t seem he would let up any time soon.

“Let me check,” Kyu insisted.

Before Ryu could catch his breath or his wits and protest the sudden ‘check up,’ Kyu’s hands were busy rolling his nightshirt up under his arms.

Kyu paused, simply leaning over Ryu in the dark for a moment before starting to touch his now exposed skin. Kyu’s fingers probed lightly at the skin just under his bandages.

“Where did I hit you?” Kyu asked, “here?”

“Right there.” Ryu knew Kyu wouldn’t be able to rest until he had inspected him to find the extent of the damage. He would rather not have Kyu poking at the places where he was already sore if he could help it.

“Here?” Kyu’s fingers had migrated up to the very lower edge of Ryu’s bandages. Ryu could only feel the tiny pressure of his fingers because he had felt Kyu move them over his bare skin into position, and knew where they were.

“No,” Ryu lied. Kyu’s body had hit his whole side, and it had hurt, but it was a dull, throbbing ‘don’t touch me there’ hurt. He had not felt the sharp, tearing pain that he expected from a wound re-opening. It was something like the hurt of being punched in an area that was already badly bruised, and Ryu did not want to be prodded there anymore.

He thought he could get away with the lie in the dark. Ryu thought Kyu would know instantly if he could see the expression he made lying, but Kyu couldn’t see him now. He didn’t think Kyu would pick up on it from his voice alone, not when it was what he really wanted to hear.

“Does it hurt now?”

Ryu didn’t think there was an answer to that question that would satisfy Kyu, so he didn’t even try. Instead he said, “I’d be able to get to sleep if you don’t land on me again.”

Kyu’s hands drifted lower to touch Ryu’s stomach. “No. I hurt you.” Ryu was shocked by the raw emotion in Kyu’s voice. “Where does it hurt?”

Then Ryu knew that Kyu knew he had lied. He didn’t know how Kyu had seen through him so easily, but it sounded like Kyu also understood why he was lying. Instead of making him feel better so that he would stop prodding and they could both get to sleep and forget about it, it only seemed to make Kyu feel worse about the whole thing.

“Kyu, you didn’t re-open my wound.” Ryu willed Kyu to believe him, because this much he knew had to be a fact. Much as it hurt, it was nothing as bad as being stabbed in the first place.

Kyu’s fingers trailed uncertainly back and forth across Ryu’s stomach, until Ryu was sure that he wanted to inspect further up and just didn’t dare to try.

Ryu just wanted Kyu to know that he didn’t need fussing over. “Just turn on the light. I’m not bleeding.” Ryu was sure his thin layer of bandages wasn’t anywhere near enough to keep blood from showing if he really had torn something.

“Ryu, I know you’re hurt, I. . .” Kyu only seemed to know that he needed to do something about this. He didn’t seem to have any idea what that something might be. He didn’t seem to be in any hurry to take Ryu’s advice, either.

Kyu was making no move to turn on the light to check, so Ryu forced himself up into an almost sitting position, stretching above his head to turn on Kyu’s bedside lamp.

As soon as the light went on, Ryu froze. Somehow, he felt Kyu was a lot closer when he could actually see him than he had just knowing that Kyu was there in the dark. Kyu was still kneeling across Ryu’s legs, touching his stomach. Now that Ryu was almost sitting up, their faces were so close that their noses touched. Ryu could feel warm breath on his mouth as Kyu exhaled.

Ryu forgot for an instant why he had wanted to sit up and turn the light on in the first place. Kyu was so close, invading his personal space so completely that he couldn’t concentrate on anything else. Never mind that he was the one who sat up and brought them this close.

It felt like hours before Ryu was able to gather his wits and lay back, propped up on his right elbow with his gaze still locked on Kyu’s.

“I’m not bleeding,” Ryu insisted, even though he hadn’t even glanced down at himself to check. He didn’t think there was blood. He didn’t think he had torn anything. At least, he hoped he hadn’t torn anything. It was hard for him to relax and surrender to being fussed over by Kyu, even though he knew he would have wanted to inspect Kyu throughly for injury if their positions had been reversed.

Kyu bent over Ryu and inspected his bandages for any sign of blood seeping through. His expression was so serious that Ryu had to suppress a smile. He didn’t want Kyu to think he was laughing at him. He would have liked to tell Kyu that he knew he was in good hands, but he thought that could only be followed by even more fiddling and prodding, so he didn’t say anything.

Eventually Kyu had to admit that he was uninjured, or at least, only a tiny bit more injured than when he had first been put to bed.

Ryu tried to thank him for caring, even though it was hard for him to wait and endure Kyu’s scrutiny calmly, but Kyu didn’t seem to appreciate the effort. He just mumbled that it was his fault that Ryu had been stabbed in the first place.

Ryu had suspected Kyu felt that way, but he had let it slide because Kyu hadn’t yet tried to say anything about how guilty he was. That might have been because they had barely had a moment alone together after Ryu had been stabbed, but Ryu had assumed it meant that Kyu understood it wasn’t his fault. At least, he had hoped that. It seemed Kyu was simply stewing in guilt instead, which wasn’t like him and wasn’t healthy.

“It was my choice,” he reminded Kyu. He wasn’t talking about what had happened less than an hour ago, and Kyu knew it. “And it’s not like you were the one who stabbed me.”

“But it was because of me.” Kyu grabbed Ryu’s arms just above his elbows, his hands shaking as he hung on to Ryu. “You never would have been hurt if you weren’t shielding me!”

“And you could have died!” Without thinking, Ryu had grabbed onto Kyu’s arms in return.

“So could you.” Kyu tilted his head forward until his forehead touched Ryu’s, making it difficult for him to escape eye contact. “You could have been dead, because of me.”

“No.” Ryu didn’t know how to explain that he had seen it coming. It was so different for him to be stabbed in the edge of his chest than for Kyu to get a knife through the heart. “I had no intention of dying.” He didn’t quite want to meet Kyu’s eyes, because he’d had a few moments when he had thought that it might be better for everyone in the long run if he had died there. “Not even for you.”

Kyu was silent for a long moment. Ryu wanted to tell him that he had only meant to protect him. He hadn’t had time to think about how much it would hurt, either his own physical pain or Kyu’s painful guilt.

“Kyu,” Ryu called softly, willing Kyu to listen and understand, “I made the choice that was easiest for me. This,” he freed one hand long enough to indicate the bandages Kyu had inspected so throughly for him, “is nothing, compared to watching you die.”

It was true. Ryu thought for the first time in his life that maybe he had inspected one too many murder scenes, because now he could imagine exactly what Kyu would look like. Cold and stiff, his eyes frozen wide open in pain and terror, blood everywhere. . . He didn’t want to ever see Kyu like that. Kyu, who was so full of life that he couldn’t even sleep quietly, who had managed to drag Ryu out of isolation and into friendship against his better judgement, and had made him enjoy the company of like minds.

Kyu was blushing now, apparently unable to look Ryu straight in the eye. Ryu continued before he could protest again, “I’m sorry. I made you deal with the hardest part. I made you live with all the fear and guilt that I never could have handled.”

Kyu looked surprised at that, and Ryu knew that he had never thought about it that way.

Ryu rubbed Kyu’s arms in encouragement. “You’ve suffered because of this, haven’t you? I need you to forgive me so we can stay friends.”

Kyu looked so serious, Ryu knew that he knew he was being persuaded out of guilt that he honestly did think he should feel. It didn’t seem that Kyu would ever believe that Ryu had given him the more painful position. At the same time he wouldn’t refuse to stay friends with Ryu, not over this.

Kyu hugged Ryu once, very carefully, smiling so happily that Ryu wanted to sigh in relief. “Of course we’re going to stay friends.” He looked down at Ryu and added, “And I’m sorry for hurting you.” Ryu smiled in spite of himself. He knew Kyu wouldn’t forget it that quickly. He needed to understand how Ryu felt, even if he didn’t want to believe that Ryu didn’t think of himself as the victim here. He at least needed to know he wasn’t being blamed.

Ryu slowly realized that he didn’t hurt quite so much anymore. Maybe Kyu distracting him with all of his inspecting and prodding was a good thing, after all. “Do you think you can still sleep? It doesn’t hurt anymore, so I can sleep now.”

Kyu touched Ryu’s stomach again, he was back to carefully avoiding Ryu’s wound. “Are you sure?”

Ryu rolled his shirt back down, shutting Kyu’s hands out. “I’m fine now.”

Kyu nodded, and climbed off of Ryu at last to sit beside the futon, watching him. Ryu wondered if Kyu intended to stay there until he fell asleep.

Ryu finally reached up to turn out the lights. Kyu didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get back to bed, but Ryu hadn’t even dozed all night and he was tired.

“Goodnight.” Ryu made himself comfortable on the futon again. He lay down on the far side from Kyu’s bed, just in case. Much as he liked Kyu, and he had meant it when he had said the whole thing wasn’t Kyu’s fault, he did not intend to be landed on again if he could help it.

Ryu was shocked to feel Kyu crawl under the comforter with him. He tensed as Kyu’s hand crept across his waist to lay lightly on his stomach. He had laid down with his injured side exposed, since he didn’t want to lay on it right now, and he suddenly felt a little nervous about that.

Kyu’s arm was resting only very lightly on Ryu’s waist, but Ryu was a little afraid that he would suddenly hug him properly, or something equally painful.

“I’m worried about you,” Kyu made no move to hug him tightly and press on any of Ryu’s sores, so he started to relax, just a bit. He thought maybe he could put up with Kyu being there until he did something that hurt, or that kept him awake.

“I want to be able to do something for you.”

“I know.” Ryu laid his hand lightly over the hand Kyu had on his stomach. “But I just want to sleep now.” That was assuming he could sleep with Kyu wrapped around him like this. Ryu was sure Kyu couldn’t mean to spend all night with him. He had been joking when he had suggested earlier that they share the bed, right?

“I’ll just stay here for a few minutes. Until you can fall asleep,” Kyu insisted. “In case you need anything.”

Ryu managed to relax under the light weight of Kyu’s arm. He kept trying to close his eyes and think of nothing, but every time Kyu shifted or breathed on the back of his neck, he would be snapped back into awareness.

A few minutes passed, and Kyu was completely relaxed and limp along Ryu’s back. Ryu almost envied him for being able to relax so quickly. A few minutes more, and Ryu rolled carefully on his back, thinking he might be able to sleep more easily in that position.

Kyu was asleep.

“Get off,” Ryu hissed at his friend. Kyu couldn’t sleep next to him like this. He was such a restless sleeper, Ryu wanted some time to heal first.

Kyu didn’t move. He just continued to breathe slowly, his arm still draped over Ryu’s stomach. Ryu watched his peaceful face for a moment, wondering. Kyu was no longer thrashing around as if searching for something. In fact, he looked downright content.

Could it be that Kyu had found. . . ? Ryu squashed that thought before it could take root. Who was he to guess what Kyu dreamed about?

As if in answer, Kyu sighed and shifted so his nose touched just under Ryu’s ear. Ryu let out a defeated sigh in answer. Kyu just looked too peaceful to disturb. He would just have to learn to sleep with him there.

Somehow, they had ended up sharing a bed after all.


	4. Ryu did not have nightmares and need to be cuddled

Dark flakes kept falling around Ryu as he walked. He kept brushing at them as they stuck to him, but he couldn’t stop to get them all. He thought they had to be ash and soot, but he didn’t take the time to think where they had come from.

Ryu had to keep moving. The ground was swampy, and he needed to concentrate just to keep pulling his feet up and moving forward. He kept his eyes fixed ahead of him, trying to find something to focus on other than the oozing, sickly red of the terrain.

There was something he needed to find. Salvation or strength. . . he couldn’t quite remember what he had decided that he needed so badly. It had been so clear in his mind before, and now only the searching remained. Ryu hoped he would know it when he saw it, otherwise he might lose it for good, and he didn’t know what would happen to him then.

Ryu couldn’t shake the feeling that something was following him, but every time he looked over his shoulder he just saw the same desolate plain stretching out behind him, his footprints already filling with stray flakes of ash. Eventually he stopped looking.

Maybe he was going in circles, Ryu started to think. Maybe the thing he wanted was really behind him, following as he continued in his fruitless chase.

There was nothing else to find here. Ryu was about to turn when he saw, out of the corner of his eye, someone kneeling on the dark plain.

Ryu paused. He didn’t want to see anyone here. Whoever it was would probably try to pull him away from his quest.

But. . . the figure looked oddly familiar.

Ryu broke away from his pre-determined path and started moving toward the unknown person instead. The thing following him would just have to wait until he had caught up with this new goal.

As Ryu approached, the person he was heading for slowly stood, turning toward him. Ryu stopped for a moment in surprise as he recognized him, then he started to push forward faster, trying, and failing, to run through the bog as he hurried toward the now-familiar figure.

Kyu.

Ryu almost felt like the ground under him was trying to pull him back, to keep him from reaching Kyu, but he pressed forward stubbornly. For a moment he forgot about even his search, wanting only to meet Kyu.

Kyu saw him coming, and for a moment he looked happy to see Ryu. Then, as Ryu came closer, his eyes widened in surprise and his smile faded.

He didn’t move to meet Ryu. Instead he seemed to move back, his expression changing to one of hurt and fear. Ryu knew that somehow, something he had done was the source of that expression. He thought he could see in his eyes that Kyu didn’t want to be shocked and scared by him, but that he couldn’t help himself. That made it somehow worse.

Ryu opened his mouth to call to Kyu to wait for him, but his voice seemed frozen. He wanted to meet Kyu, since there was nothing else for him to find here. He wanted to know what he had done to put that look on Kyu’s face.

“Ryu, where did you get that?” Kyu’s voice echoed strangely around Ryu, making him feel disoriented for a moment.

Ryu looked down, shaking his head slowly to clear it, and saw the black rose. He was clutching it in one hand, the thorns digging deep into his skin so that his dark blood stained his fingers. Pain shot through his hand as he looked.

Ryu tried to drop the rose, but the thorns dug in deep. He wanted to fling it away from him, but the more he tried to be rid of it, the more it twined around his hand and cut into his palm. His blood was so dark, almost matching the petals themselves. He had seen enough spilled blood to know his blood shouldn’t be that color, not smeared across his palm, seeping fresh from a wound. ‘Not human blood,’ he thought distantly, ‘demon blood.’

Kyu was staring at him, looking as sick with Ryu as if he knew everything. It was as if he knew the meaning behind the rose and the color of Ryu’s blood.

Ryu reached for Kyu with his clean hand. He seemed too far away to reach, but Ryu felt his fingertips just brush Kyu’s fingertips.

The touch was comforting, though it didn’t take the horrified expression off of Kyu’s face. The gap between them was still too wide for Ryu to reach across himself, but Kyu had reached out to him in return and allowed himself to be touched.

Ryu thought for a split second that he would mark Kyu somehow, but there was no blood on the hand that was touching Kyu now. As Ryu thought of this, he realized that the dark flakes weren’t sticking to Kyu either, though his own arm was covered in charcoal patches of soot and grey flakes of ash now that he had stopped brushing them off.

Ryu opened his mouth, meaning to explain to Kyu why he was so dirty and torn up, but he didn’t know the reason himself. All he knew that he was willing to say anything, even lie, just to make Kyu stop looking at him like that. He wanted to tell Kyu that the black rose wasn’t his, that the blood didn’t mean a thing, that he didn’t want any of it and he never would.

Then Ryu felt himself being wrenched backwards, losing his tenuous grip on Kyu. He turned to see what was pulling him back, and found another familiar person standing behind him, gripping his shoulders. Not a face he wanted to see this time. Not like Kyu.

Anubis.

Ryu turned back to Kyu, only to find that he couldn’t see him anymore. The falling flakes of ash had become a storm of smoke and black rose petals that surrounded him, blinding him.

Ryu could feel hands on him still, and knew Anubis wouldn’t let him go. He was being held paralyzed. He could feel heat pressing down on him, but he couldn’t seem to throw off the hands or escape the smoke. Strained noises were rising in his throat, but if they escaped he couldn’t hear them.

There was a dull pain throbbing in his chest, and Ryu was sure it had something to do with Anubis touching him.

Then, reaching out of the darkness, he felt Kyu’s hands on his hand. Ryu tried to protest, because it was the hand holding the rose, and he was afraid that the thorns would cut into Kyu as well.

Kyu wouldn’t let go. Instead he gently pried Ryu’s hand open, then held it that way. He touched Ryu’s palm with light fingertips until there was only a dull memory of pain. He must have made Ryu drop the rose.

Kyu’s hands retreated, and Ryu called out to him. He needed Kyu to help him, to help him drag himself out of this dark place so that he could see and breathe again. His voice seemed to be swallowed up in the storm.

Kyu responded by touching him again. This time he laid one cool hand on Ryu’s forehead, then against his cheek, murmuring to him, “Calm down, Ryu. Rest.” Ryu couldn’t see him, even though he was close enough to hear and to touch, but he knew it had to be him.

Ryu cried out at Kyu not to disappear as Kyu withdrew his hand. He still couldn’t hear his own voice, but he had a feeling Kyu could hear, because he had somehow heard Kyu.

He knew he couldn’t rest here. He didn’t want to think what he would become if stayed here in this dark place with Anubis. He was afraid that if Kyu left him here, Anubis would make it so that he could never leave, so that he didn’t want to leave.

Something hot and heavy was stretched over his chest, making it hard for Ryu to breathe, or to think. Kyu’s hands did not return to help him or comfort him. Ryu felt he had been abandoned.

Ryu cried out his friend’s name. If Kyu wasn’t helping him, maybe it meant that he was in trouble as well. He was suddenly afraid that Kyu would become lost here with him, that he would be devoured by the same force that held Ryu back. If Kyu couldn’t help him, then Ryu needed to know that he was safe, and tell him to get out while he still could. If he could help, then Ryu needed that help now.

Kyu’s hands seized his shoulders and shook him hard.

“Ryu, wake up. Wake up!” were the words that filtered into Ryu’s mind as he felt himself suddenly free of the hands holding him back.

Ryu sat up in one sudden jerk, gasping. He found he could finally see Kyu’s silhouette in the dark and he grabbed for him. The oppressive heat surrounding him fell away as he caught Kyu and clung.

“Ryu, what are you. . .”

Ryu tightened his grip as Kyu shifted back. He wasn’t going to let go, not for anything. Kyu had pulled him up and out of that place and into a darkness that Ryu knew to be calm and open and cool. He might be safe here, but if Kyu let go of him he might fall back again.

“Don’t go,” he gasped into Kyu’s shoulder. His throat felt too dry and raw for words, but he needed to say something after being held mute. “Don’t leave me alone.”

Kyu was still for a long moment, but Ryu didn’t care, so long as he was no longer trying to pull away. He just needed Kyu to anchor him here until he was sure he wouldn’t slip again.

Finally, Kyu slipped his arms around Ryu and whispered, “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.” He reached up to rub between Ryu’s shoulders. “It was just a bad dream.”

Ryu wanted to laugh it off, but the sound was stuck in his throat. Just a dream? He knew that. He should have known that. He didn’t understand how something so surreal could feel so real while he was in it. He really had thought he was in danger, and Kyu too.

He slowly realized that even the heat that had been holding him down was only the weight of a pair of comforters, which had slipped into his lap as he sat up. At some point during the night a second one had been placed on top of him, probably by a certain well-meaning friend of his, making him overheat. And his hand, he must have clenched his injured hand in his sleep. That must have been the pain he had felt.

Kyu kept holding onto him, until Ryu started to feel embarrassed for needing it. Even comforting him, Kyu couldn’t be still. He kept rubbing at Ryu’s back, then reaching up to rub the back of his neck, switching off holding him with one arm while the other was busy making comforting motions. At random intervals he would murmur into Ryu’s ear, ‘I’m right here,’ or, ‘It’s okay,’ or ‘Just breathe.’

Ryu loosened his grip and sat back just enough to peek sideways at Kyu’s face. He couldn’t read the expression in the dark, but he wanted to know what Kyu was thinking. Kyu might be irritated at him for clinging, or even be disgusted at Ryu for needing him. He didn’t want Kyu to be thinking something like that, not now.

Kyu cautiously sat back when Ryu’s grip loosened. Ryu could tell that Kyu was studying him intently, but he doubted that Kyu could see any more by the tiny bit of light creeping under the door than he himself could.

“Do you always have nightmares like this?” Ryu was surprised to realize that Kyu didn’t sound irritated or sarcastic about it. If anything, he sounded concerned.

“No.” Ryu relaxed his grip on Kyu. He was fairly sure it would be all right to keep touching Kyu so long as he wasn’t actively clinging to him. “I usually don’t have dreams like that.” Usually Ryu didn’t dream at all, or at least he didn’t remember dreams. Yet, since he had taken that knife for Kyu he had been having oddly vivid dreams. It was as if they had been shocked into him.

Kyu started to massage Ryu’s shoulders. The touch was more soothing to his nerves than his muscles, but Ryu relaxed under it with a breath of contentment. He pulled his hands away from Kyu at last.

The dream was already fading, the details becoming blurred as Kyu’s simple presence chased it away. It was too bad he couldn’t count on Kyu forgetting about his reaction as quickly as he was trying to put the dream out of his mind.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kyu suggested. Ryu knew Kyu wouldn’t forget any time soon, if ever, that Ryu had jolted out of a nightmare and clung to him like a terrified child.

“No.” There were things embedded in that dream that he hoped Kyu would never need to know about. A moment’s fright was not going to be enough to pull them out of him. “Thank you,” Ryu said, feeling his lips curve into a smile as he realized that he really meant it. “I think I can get back to sleep now.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t try to sleep so soon. You might have that dream again if you do.”

“It’s okay, Kyu,” ‘as long as you’re here to chase it away,’ he added mentally.

“Come here,” Kyu caught Ryu’s hands and coaxed him to his feet. Ryu went along with it willingly. He didn’t feel like fighting Kyu’s hands off at the moment. Kyu held him with one arm, groping for something behind himself. Then he guided Ryu to turn and sit on the edge of the bed.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Ryu reminded Kyu, though he allowed Kyu to snuggle, warm and hopeful, against his side.

“That’s okay.” Kyu shifted around, getting comfortable. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I want to go back to sleep.” Ryu tried to slide off of the bed and back onto his futon, but Kyu was hanging onto him. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Ryu!” The unhappy note in Kyu’s voice effectively stopped Ryu cold. “I’m worried about you.”

“I didn’t want you to worry.”

Kyu shifted closer in the dark, his hand exploring Ryu’s face. Ryu tried not to start in surprise as Kyu’s fingers wandered up his cheek and brushed under his eye. “It sounded like you were crying.”

Ryu realized that Kyu was checking for wetness, for tears. “I wasn’t crying,” he insisted.

“You called my name.”

Ryu turned his face away from Kyu’s hands. He hadn’t meant to say it out loud. He was starting to feel as if he had exposed some raw, helpless part of himself to Kyu, something that Kyu couldn’t quit poking at in his curiosity.

“I’m tired,” Ryu said softly. He still didn’t want to expose all of himself to Kyu. Not now.

“Lie down,” Kyu offered, “you can sleep in the bed, okay?”

“I can’t put you out of a bed.”

“You won’t.” Ryu expected that Kyu meant that there was still the futon for him to sleep on, but he wasn’t completely sure. “Anyway, you’re the guest.”

“No, Kyu. I’m already intruding.” And he had woken Kyu up in the middle of the night with his dream. Not that Kyu hadn’t kept him awake by thrashing around and talking in his sleep before, but he felt that this was somehow different.

“But you’re hurt. You should have a comfortable place to sleep.”

Even as they tried to argue about it, Kyu was pressing Ryu down to lie with his head against the pillow. He gave in at last, because he thought Kyu was capable of being far more stubborn than he could even start to compete with at the moment.

Then Kyu lay down beside him on the bed, pulling the covers up over both of them. “Kyu, I. . .” Ryu didn’t know where to begin. He could feel himself blushing, and was glad Kyu couldn’t see it in the dark.

“I want to be here if you need me.” Kyu found Ryu’s hand and clasped it gently. “I’m not going anywhere you can’t reach me.”

“I don’t want to wake you again if I. . .”

“Have another bad dream?” Kyu finished for him. He wiggled closer so that he could get his head on the pillow beside Ryu’s. “I hope you do. You never want to trouble people for yourself, do you? Even having a nightmare, you’re so quiet.” Kyu squeezed his hand. “I want to hear you if you need me.”

“I won’t.” Ryu clasped Kyu’s hand back and clarified, “I won’t have another nightmare.” Not with Kyu this close to him, anyway.

“I hope so.” Kyu seemed to be settled in, but after another minute he whispered, “Ryu? When you said before, ‘don’t leave me,’ did you mean don’t abandon you? Or. . .” He fiddled with Ryu’s fingers for a moment, stalling. “. . . don’t die?”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about it.” Ryu wanted to forget the whole dream, and how it had made him feel.

“It’s just that. . . while you were in the hospital, I kept having nightmares. They let me and Kinta stay in your room for a while, and I was so tired, I guess we fell asleep on the floor.” Ryu nodded. He had been so happy to see the two of them there when he woke up. “I was so exhausted I couldn’t stay awake, but I kept waking up and having to go make sure you were still breathing.”

So maybe this curling up within easy reach of one another was for Kyu just as much as it was for him? That shouldn’t have made Ryu feel better, but somehow it did.

Kyu let go of his hand and lay one arm lightly over Ryu’s waist in a lazy hug.

After a long, peaceful moment, Ryu answered Kyu’s original question. “Don’t abandon me.”

“I won’t. Ever.” Kyu hugged him a little more firmly as he said it.

Ryu relaxed, looking forward to a blissfully dreamless sleep. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so peaceful. He was aware of Kyu watching over him, and the darkness behind his closed eyelids was a comfort now that he knew Kyu was somewhere in that darkness with him. They were both safe here.


	5. There were no affectionate ulterior motives whatsoever.

Kyu kept talking, even in his sleep. It actually took a minute for Ryu to even realize that Kyu was asleep and that he didn't have to think of some sort of response. (The protest that 'it _wasn't_ the edible couch' had been a big hint.)

So Ryu lay awake, listening to Kyu mutter nonsense in his sleep. He had known Kyu talked in his sleep before he had asked if he could stay with him, so he really couldn't blame anyone but himself. Besides, Ryu was sure he could tune out the sound of Kyu's voice if he tried. He just couldn't stop listening.

Kyu kept thrashing around on the bed. It was hard to fall asleep while listening to him being so restless. He was sort of glad he wasn't sleeping up there with Kyu. He had slept too close to Kyu once before, and gotten kicked before he returned to his senses and moved out of range.

That aspect of Kyu obviously hadn't changed, Ryu realized as Kyu chose that moment to kick off his covers. Ryu sat up in surprise as he felt the soft weight of blankets landing on him.

Ryu looked at the tangle of blankets, then up at Kyu, who was curled up on his side. He only had a sheet draped over his legs now.

Slowly gathering up the blankets, Ryu got to his feet and looked at Kyu. He considered just tossing the bundle on top of Kyu and being done with it, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. Kyu looked so peaceful the way he was, now that he was no longer thrashing around in his sleep. Besides, he probably kicked them off because he was too hot in the first place, meaning he would just kick them off again, probably right back onto Ryu, if Ryu replaced them.

Ryu simply held onto the bundle of blankets, watching Kyu breathe slowly and evenly. He wasn't really thinking of anything beyond how peaceful Kyu suddenly seemed to be.

Before, Ryu had thought that Kyu never stopped moving, not even in his sleep. He had probably slept through all of Kyu's peaceful moments last time they had shared a room.

Ryu smiled in spite of himself. He hadn't known what to think of Kyu at first, watching him being so lively, and so friendly, in the least likely of situations. Now it was funny to imagine him driving other people spare with his antics. He could just see Kyu in middle school, fidgeting, staring out the window, hiding detective novels in his textbook to read during class. . .

Maybe it was unkind of him to think of Kyu that way, but the only time he saw Kyu being still was when he was concentrating on some sort of convoluted, mysterious puzzle. The sort of brilliance he showed at those moments wasn't anything close to what schools normally tested for. Ryu had no way of knowing how Kyu might have gotten along in school not using his own gift.

Maybe Kyu was dreaming, since he was so still now. Ryu watched his face for some sign of what he might be dreaming about.

Vaguely Ryu wondered if Kyu ever dreamed about swimming, the way some people dreamed about flying. He quickly tried to wave those thoughts away as he realized he was thinking that because he had dreams like that himself.

Ryu had dreamed several times of scuba diving with Kyu after their one trip together. It felt strange afterward, thinking that he had been dreaming about his classmate, but during the dreams Ryu had simply felt peaceful. There was something nice about sharing an underwater environment with Kyu, guiding him by the hand so that he wouldn't miss anything. Ryu had enjoyed underwater dreams before he had even met Kyu, so he had to assume having his classmate join him in those dreams was only a phase and it would pass.

Unfortunately, Ryu had started dreaming that he had somehow forgotten his air tank. Before he could even panic, Kyu would move closer and share his air. Once or twice he didn't even offer to share his mouthpiece, choosing instead to share his breath mouth-to-mouth. Ryu would always wake up gasping, not knowing what to think of his careless dream-self.

Ryu returned his attention to Kyu, hoping now that Kyu didn't have dreams anything like his. Kyu was such a heavy sleeper that they would probably both drown before he woke.

As Ryu watched, he slowly became aware that Kyu had curled up very tightly on the bed. After a moment, Kyu shivered pitifully.

Ryu smiled down at Kyu almost fondly. He leaned over Kyu and straightened the sheet so that it lay over his whole body and hung over the sides of the bed. Then, before Kyu could shiver himself awake, he untangled the bundle that had landed on him earlier and covered Kyu with a blanket.

Ryu leaned over Kyu to tuck the blanket and sheet firmly under the mattress. He was determined that Kyu would have a harder time throwing his covers off a second time when he was done with him.

Kyu was still shivering, but not as badly as before, so Ryu covered him with the quilt too. He did have to lean on the bed to tuck it in, but he tried to avoid leaning on Kyu. The whole exercise would be pointless if he carelessly woke Kyu up.

It was sort of a nice feeling, looking after Kyu like this. Ryu did want to keep an extra close eye on Kyu for a while. He had already come too close to seeing him killed. It might be better to stay near Kyu until he could be sure that he was safe. Or at least as safe as he was going to get while being a detective.

Even though it didn't make Kyu any safer, Ryu kept finding excuses to stay where he was. He kept re-arranging little details, tucking the covers up under Kyu's chin, catching the hand that Kyu had fisted in the pillow and slipping it under the covers with the rest of him, trying to make Kyu's hair smooth down and lie flat. . .

Finally Ryu stood back to watch Kyu again. He still looked so peaceful. Ryu was a little surprised that he hadn't woken up in the middle and demanded to know what Ryu thought he was doing.

As Ryu watched, Kyu's lips parted slightly, and he let out a soft 'un. . .' sound. Ryu's attention immediately fixed on Kyu's mouth. He was oddly reminded of the playful mouth-to-mouth he had dreamed about against his better judgement.

Even knowing that he shouldn't be doing anything while Kyu was asleep, Ryu bent over him again. He didn't mean to re-arrange Kyu's covers this time. Instead, he touched his mouth to Kyu's in a tentative kiss.

Ryu hovered over him, contemplating trying it again, but then Kyu sighed, sending his warm breath ghosting across Ryu's chin. He pulled himself back guiltily, knowing that he had far overstepped Kyu's hospitality. His mere presence must be disturbing Kyu's dreams, at the very least.

"Goodnight," Ryu whispered. He quickly let go of Kyu, crept back onto the futon Kyu had laid out for him, and pulled his comforter up around his ears. He couldn't believe that he had just gone and kissed Kyu goodnight, any more than he could believe that he had wanted to kiss him a second time. He pressed his face into the pillow, trying to relax.

As long as Kyu was sleeping peacefully, he might as well get to sleep too.

* * *

Kyu waited as long as he could after he felt Ryu stop leaning on his bed. He could hear the subtle noises of Ryu getting settled on his futon, then there was only the silence as he was still. Kyu knew he must either be sleeping or waiting for sleep.

Once he was sure Ryu was settled, Kyu lifted the hand that Ryu had just tucked under the covers for him, and pressed his fingers to his mouth.

A minute ago he would have said that it was funny that Ryu was taking such good care of him, like a big brother. Maybe not so much like a brother, now. Kyu had never expected Ryu to do something like that. Now he was sort of glad he had let Ryu go on fussing over him without letting him know he was awake.

Maybe he should be irritated at Ryu for doing that while he was supposed to be asleep. Unless Ryu had known he wasn't really asleep. If he knew Kyu wasn't sleeping, maybe that was his way of getting Kyu back for trying to trick him, or just trying to make him reveal himself.

Kyu shifted into a slightly more comfortable position, relaxing after having to hold himself so still for Ryu. It was hard to guess what Ryu was thinking. It was enough that they were friends, even if Ryu seemed to have an odd idea of what exactly that friendship entailed.

It was one of those things that wouldn't change too much, no matter how hard he thought about it, Kyu decided. He stopped touching his lips and stretched out, comfortable and snug now that Ryu had tucked him in so well. Ryu looking after him was not something to lose any sleep over, after all.

"Goodnight," he called softly back to Ryu. He wondered if it would make a difference if Ryu heard him.


End file.
